I Have No Excuse Not To Run

Posted on August 5, 2012 by willieryder

Last weekend I was at my son’s basketball game when a good friend asked me about my running.

“Hey Willie, how are you doing today” he asked.

“Great Coach Mac!  It’s Saturday!  How are you” I responded.

“I am great also!  Did you go running this morning” he asked me.

“Yes” I said.

“How far did you go today” he asked me.

“Today I ran the farthest I have ever run before.  I ran 13.43 miles” I replied.

“Wow!  I don’t know how you do it” he told me.

“Recently I joined a running group and they have helped me a lot” I stated.

“How are you able to run that far and still make it in to basketball in the morning though” he asked.

“Luckily the group I am running with finishes by 7:30 AM so it doesn’t interfere with basketball.  We just have to get up really early and I am completely fine with that” I told him.

“But how do you get up so early to go running that far and then have the energy to come in here and spend several hours in the gym” he asked.

“I used to really struggle with that” I said.  “I would put off my long runs and not get the miles in I wanted to because I spent so much time in the gym every weekend.  Then I started coaching a few players that would on occasion run 5K races prior to coming to basketball.  When I found out they were running these races before basketball and were still able to come in and give a 100% I decided I had no excuse not to run regardless of my busy schedule.”

Over the years I have run off and on.  When I was in the military I ran because I had to on a regular basis.  After getting out I only ran a handful of times for several years and I got really out of shape.  Around 6 years ago I started running again on a pretty consistent basis.  I ran a few races however it did not last.  I would eventually stop running again just after 4 or 5 months.  Since then I have started running again off and on but it would never last long.  About a year ago I started up again and have been running ever since and don’t plan to stop.

Even though I feel I am committed to running and have been doing a pretty good job this past year I have still struggled at times.  There have been times where I have let myself get too busy and not run for a week or two.   I have not had the most disciplined schedule and have not always had the energy to run when I know I should.  I have been hurt some and have had to take some time off.  I have also not always pushed myself as hard as I possibly could.  Luckily no matter the setbacks I have faced this past year I have always found a way to overcome them and get back on track in a short period of time.

Throughout the year I have worked to improve as a runner and in order for me to do that I have had to try to learn as much as I can. A lot of the learning has come from doing.  However I have also read some books, sought out some assistance from friends that have a lot more experience than me, recently joined a running group, and learned from some of the positive behaviors I have seen in others like what I shared with Coach Mac last week.

Looking back I feel I have seen numerous examples to remind me that I have no excuse not to run. However, yesterday I saw an example that truly motivated me, one that I will remember for a long time.  Something that I will reflect back on when I feel like I am wavering and coming up with too many excuses on why I feel like I can’t or shouldn’t run.

I was about a half a mile into a 5K race in uptown Charlotte when one of the runners about 10 feet ahead of me caught my attention.  As I was running I started to notice something just over the runner’s right shoulder.  At first I was not sure what it was because there were a couple of runners in between us and he was partially blocked from my view.  I picked up my pace a little and as I passed the runners in front of me I was able to clearly see the runner along with the object he was carrying.  It was a white stick about 5 feet long that he held out in front of him to make sure he did not run into anything as he ran.  The runner was blind!

I could not believe it.  I immediately started to look around to see if anyone was running with him.  There were a lot of people around us because it was a race however no one appeared to be keeping pace with him as if they were running together.  I looked back at the runner and realized if it was not for the stick he was carrying I would have never realized he was blind.  He ran with a good strong stride and with confidence.  The sunglasses he wore would not have gotten my attention because a lot of people wear them when they run.  I often do myself.

As I continued to run I thought about the challenges he must have gone through and overcome in order to be able to run the way he was while not being able to see.  I am sure it was very difficult and took some time.  In seeing him I am also sure it was well worth it.

Today as I reflect on what I saw yesterday I feel very thankful.  Actually I feel more thankful than normal.  I am thankful for being able to go out and do the things I do like running.  But even more I am very thankful that I was able to witness what I did yesterday.  That runner was a true inspiration.  I will remember seeing him for a very long time.   Not only is he a reminder for me that I have no excuse not to run, he is a reminder that we are capable of doing anything we want in life even when faced with significant adversities.

Life will throw challenges our way and we will have setbacks.  Some of them will be so overwhelming that we feel we can’t get past them.  As long as we are willing to face them and do what is needed we can overcome them.  There is nothing we can’t accomplish if we truly want to.

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150 By 50

Posted on August 3, 2012 by willieryder

When the August 2012 edition of Runner’s World magazine came in the mail about a month ago I noticed at the top it said “Half-Marathon Special.”  This got my attention because I had just run my first half marathon back in February and I was currently preparing to run another in the next 4 to 6 weeks.

Reading through the magazine I learned a lot of great information about half marathon’s.  It shared the history of the half marathon, listed famous people who have run them, highlighted some of the most popular races, and a lot of other great information.  If you are interested in half marathon’s I would highly recommend picking up this issue.

Along with all the great information I read about I also learned there are a few clubs that focus on running half marathons with some very lofty goals.  The ones that really caught my attention were the ones whose members plan to run half marathons in all 50 states or run 100 half marathons.

After finding out about these clubs and their goals I immediately started considering pursuing one of them.  But I was not sure which one.  Initially both seemed appealing to me. They would require a lot of training, travel, and I know I would have some amazing experiences.

Even though both of these goals had a lot of positive reasons to pursue them I also had some significant obstacles in my way.  The most notable being the impact it would have on my family.  Having 3 kids our family is already stretched in many different directions and it would be hard to travel the amount required to accomplish the goals for either of these clubs.  I also had to consider the fact that I coach youth basketball on the weekends for 8 months out of the year which would limit how many half marathons I would be able to run.  Then there is the fact that the city and state I live in has a lot of great races throughout the year and several of them are ones that I plan to participate in every year.

Considering all the of the obstacles in front of me I did not think it would be very feasible for me to try to take on either  the goal of running a 100 half marathons or running a half marathon in 50 states at this time.  I just could not see a way for either to realistically fit into my current lifestyle.

This presented a problem for me.  Being very goal focused I really wanted a significant running goal similar to the ones I had read about.  One that I would have to work very hard towards, that would take several years to accomplish, and that would be challenging for me but achievable at the same time.

Knowing that I could not currently work towards the goals of a half marathon in 50 states or 100 half marathons I decided to come up with my own goal.  I thought about all the pro’s and con’s of the goals of the two clubs.  I then factored in what my running had been like for the past 6 months along with my current race plans for the next 6 months.  From this I was able to come up with a goal that I believe fits my needs.

I am calling it 150 By 50.  It basically means I am planning on running a 150 races by my 50th birthday.  Not just any 150 races either.  I plan to run at least 70 half marathons or marathons and 80 5K races or farther.  Since I am just a couple of months from my 41st birthday I only have just over 9 years to accomplish this goal.  I believe a 150 races in that time in itself is going to be a challenge and will take dedication on my part.  However, by setting the additional stipulation on how many of them have to be half marathons or marathons it ensures that I am truly stretching myself and doing something that will really push me both physically and mentally for a significant period of time.

Having a goal that I know is going to take hard work, dedication, and the better part of 10 years to complete really excites me.  I know by deciding to take on this goal it will help me to live a healthier life, I will get to meet some great people along the way, and I will have some amazing experiences over the years to come.

This is definitely one of those goals that will have a huge impact on the person I will become in the years ahead.  It is one of those goals that also has the potential to have a very positive impact on my life and the people around me.  Most notably my family.  I hope my example will motivate them to live healthy lives, to have worthy goals, and to take on challenges that will push them to be their best at whatever they choose to do in life.

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Our Children Are Always Watching, Listening, And Learning

Posted on July 4, 2012 by willieryder

I was on my way home from work when my wife called to share some good news with me.

“Alex got her Senior Yearbook today at school.  I can’t wait until you see it.  The section containing the pictures of her that we sent in along with a personal message from us turned out really well.”

“That is great!  I will look at it right when I get home.  I should be there in about 15 minutes.”

“Her Senior picture turned out well also.  Beneath it she was allowed to include her favorite quote.  Do you know what her favorite quote is?”

“She told me it once and I know I liked it but right now I can’t remember what it was” I said.

“I will show it to you when you get home.”

When I got home I went into the kitchen where my wife and mother-in-law were having a conversation.  After greeting my wife she picked up the yearbook and started looking through it to find the page that had the section we submitted.  While I was waiting my mother-in-law made the comment “I really like the comment you created for Alex’s picture.”

This confused me a little bit so I asked “What comment?”

At that point my wife stated “He hasn’t seen it yet.”

This confused me even more because my wife and I had worked together to create the write-up we wanted included with the pictures we provided.  It was a message to Alex from the both of us, not just me.  I figured that must have been what she was referring to.

My wife showed me the section and as I looked at the pictures and read through what we had written it reminded me of just how proud we are of her.  She has worked so hard over the years and has really grown into a wonderful young woman.

After reading it my wife then flipped through the pages until she found her senior picture.  She pointed to the picture so I could see it and read what was beneath it.

Dream big and live a fulfilled life while being a positive influence for others to remember. ~Willie Ryder

As I read the words I could feel my heart swell up, my eyes started to water, and I was speechless.  Her favorite quote was something that I had written several years ago.  It wasn’t a quote though.  It was my personal mission statement.  I remembered sharing it with her a few months ago while helping her with college applications.  I didn’t think she had written it down at the time though or would have remembered it.

The next morning I was driving Alex to school when she asked me “have you seen my yearbook yet?”

“Yes, your mom showed it to me yesterday.”

“What did you think?”

“I liked it a lot.  Especially where you shared something I had written under your senior picture.  It made me feel very honored and proud.  Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!  It’s one of my favorite quotes.”

“I remember sharing it with you a couple of months ago when we were working on your college applications but I don’t remember you writing it down at the time.  How did you remember it?”

“I looked at your posts on twitter.  I went through all of them, wrote down my favorite ones, narrowed it down to the one I liked the most, and this was it.”

“You pulled this from one of my twitter posts?”

“Yes.  It took a while to go through them all but I did.”

“I am amazed that you thought of going through my twitter posts and that this is what you chose.  I have only shared this on twitter a couple of times.  Do you know what these words represent?”

“No, I just thought it was a quote you had created.”

“It’s more than that.  It is my personal mission statement.  Something I created a little over five years ago and I have tried to live by ever since.”

I cannot put into words just how good it made me feel that my daughter shared my personal mission statement in her yearbook.  I had to be the proudest father in the world when I found out.  Alex is one of the most respectful, caring, and thoughtful young ladies I know.  This was just one of the many ways she has shown that over the years.

When she told me she found my mission statement from one of my twitter posts it further solidified for me something I had known for many years.  Our children are always watching what we do, listening to what we say, and learning from it.

I believe that one of our responsibilities as a parent is to try our best to set a good example for our children.  We cannot just tell them how we want them to act, how to talk, or treat others.  It is very important for us to show them and the best way to do that is by being a great role model for them.

Children are the most precious gift a person could have in their life.  As a parent you give them guidance, support, and never ending love.  And if you really want to make a positive impact on the person they will become set a great example for them to model their life after. ~Willie Ryder

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Leadership Shorts – Look For Ways To Improve

Posted on April 19, 2012 by willieryder

Leaders are always looking for ways to improve.

A leader does not accept the status quo and will not look to just get by.  They understand when you are not growing you are not staying the same either.  You are actually regressing because everything around us is continuing to move forward, especially with as fast as things are changing today with the technology and resources currently available.

To reach your full potential you have to be looking to improve on a regular basis.

Even when things appear to be going well a leader knows there is still room for improvement.  They will not accept being comfortable because they know that being comfortable is just one step ahead of being complacent.  When you are either comfortable or complacent you are not performing at your full potential.

The best leaders are always looking for ways to improve because they want to do their best and want the best for their people.

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Make The Choice To Act On Your Ideas

Posted on April 8, 2012 by willieryder

We spend a lot of time in our own thoughts.  Always thinking about all the different things going on in our lives and around us.  What happened in the past, what we think the future may hold, all the different challenges we are currently faced with, the upcoming events we may or may not be excited about, etc.  There are just so many things to think about.

As we spend our time reflecting on whatever is on our mind at the time we regularly come up with different ideas.  Conversations we would like to have, possible opportunities we may get, planning time and activities with those we care about, achievements we want to accomplish, and so much more.

Throughout the day we each probably come up with literally hundreds if not thousands of different ideas.  However, we act on so few of them.  We tell ourselves we will act on them when we have more time, when the right opportunity presents itself, when we have thought it through some more, maybe tomorrow or next week, and many other excuses.  Sadly most of the ideas we have never get acted on because of the many excuses we tell ourselves.

This type of behavior can keep us from doing the things we really want to and stop us from becoming the person we hope to be one day.  Just reflecting and coming up with a lot of ideas is not good enough.  We have to find ways to act on them and be intentional about it.  Because if we don’t we’re just dreaming when we should be creating the life that we long for.

I challenge everyone that reads this post to implement a few habits that will help you to try to act on the ideas you have.

For the next 30 days do the following:

  • Keep a small notepad/journal and pen with you at all times and write down your ideas as you think of them.
  • For the ones you feel the strongest about also come up with of a realistic timeline that you think you could act on them by.
  • If you think you can accomplish them with in the next 30 days add them to your calendar, planner, outlook, or other resources you regularly use.
  • Start regularly sharing some of your ideas with others.
  • If you have an idea that doesn’t take a lot of time or effort and could be acted on immediately do so.  Strike while the iron is hot.

Each and every one of us have dreams about the things we want to do, the lives we want to live, and the people we want to spend it with.  The ideas we have throughout the day have the potential to help make our dreams a reality.  We just have to find ways to act on them and the sooner the better.

The next time a great idea comes to you don’t just let it go.  Make the choice to do something with it.  Take some sort of action that will help you make it into a reality.  Make the choice to create and live the life you want.

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Stay True To Who You Are

Posted on February 22, 2012 by willieryder

This past weekend I ran my first half marathon.  I had worked hard to prepare the past few months and felt both physically and mentally ready to run the 13.1 miles.  There were some things I was not prepared for though.  It had been at least 6 years since I had even ran a 5K and was not used to participating in such a huge organized event or running around so many people.

There were over 4200 people running in the half marathon and each of us were doing our best to run at our own pace.  Being such a long distance it was very common to pass other runners and to be passed on many occasions.

I started in line next to the flag that marked the group that planned to run the race in around 2 hours.  Each time I passed a marker and digital clock I checked my progress and tried to make sure I was on pace to finish around that time.  My efforts paid off and I finished at 1:54:56.

I am very happy with my time and feel proud of how I performed during the race.  However, there were a few short moments were I was at risk of not feeling good about myself.  There was one instance in particular where I was disappointed in myself because I don’t think I was staying true to who I am.

It happened sometime after I had passed the 9 mile marker.  Throughout the race I had run past many other runners and had been passed by a lot of runners myself.  I didn’t think much about it until I was passing this lady who I had seen a few times over the course of the race.  Each time I had seen her she was a little bit ahead of me.  However, instead of running she was now walking.  Her pace was fast but not enough to keep me and a lot of other people from passing her.

As I ran past her I didn’t say anything.  I just looked over to make sure she seemed ok as I ran past.  She was walking with her head up, had a good walking pace, and didn’t appear to be struggling like I would expect if she was hurt or injured.  I took this to mean she was fine and continued running.

Almost immediately after passing her I started feeling guilty for not saying something.  I felt like I should have encouraged her to start running again.  I could have said things like “Don’t stop now,” “We’re almost done,” “Less than 30 minutes to go,” “You can do it,” or numerous other encouraging comments.  But I didn’t and it bothered me.

At first I was not sure why it bothered me so much.  I didn’t know who she was, I had never seen her before the race, and I had yet to speak a single word to her.  I reflected on it for a few minutes and soon realized the issue.  The problem was with me and the fact that I watched someone who appeared to be capable of running the whole race do less than their potential and was not willing to do something about it.  I now felt terrible about not saying something.

This lady was a perfect stranger to me so you may be wondering why something like this would have such an effect on me.  The answer is pretty simple.  Because I am used to lifting others up.  It is what I do in many of the roles I have both professionally and personally.  As a Manager and Leader at work, Husband and Father at home, Coach for youth basketball players, Motivational speaker in Toastmasters, Mentor, and Friend.  In almost every area of my life I do everything I can to lift others up and push them to do their best.  However, here I was focused so much on pushing myself to do my best during the run that I overlooked an opportunity to help someone who needed it.  I was not being true to who I am and regardless of how well I was doing running I was not proud of myself at that moment.

Luckily a few minutes later the lady started running again and soon caught up with me.  When I saw her next to me getting ready to pass by I just had to say something.  I looked over and said “Good job, way to get back in there.”  She just smiled and ran right past me.

I was happy to see her running again.  Unfortunately it would not last though.  Over the next 2 miles she would go back and forth between walking and running.  This caused us to pass each other at least 2 or 3 more times.  However, now each time I passed her or she passed me I would say something to her.  As I passed her I would try to encourage her to start running again and when she passed me I would tell her “Good job” and “Keep it up”.

The last time I saw her was probably around the 12 mile marker.  As she passed me that last time I told her “You’re going to beat me, I can feel it.  Just keep running.”  Throughout the race I had a solid strong pace and was actually speeding up.  My last 3 miles were faster than my first 3 miles.  However, for her to fall behind like she did and then catch back up and pass me she had to be running faster than me and I knew it.  I hoped by telling her that would encourage her to finish strong.  Since I never caught back up to her I have to assume she did just that.

Even though she was a complete stranger it felt good to offer her the encouragement to continue and finish the race.  Looking back on the situation I honestly believe by helping her I was also helping myself as well.  My actions even though brief and small aligned to my values and who I am.  This made me feel good and actually helped to boost my own energy so I could also finish strong.

There are times in our lives where we are outside of our comfort zones and may be struggling to some degree.  However, regardless of the situation we must do our best to make sure the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the behaviors we display are consistent with our beliefs and values.

The only way for us to be truly happy with ourselves is by staying true to who we are.

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Leadership Shorts – Solution Focused

Posted on February 3, 2012 by willieryder

Leaders choose to be solution focused instead of problem focused.

Even with the most thorough and well thought out plan things don’t always go the way you expect them to.  When faced with a problem or setback you have to be able to assess the situation, find a way to overcome it, and keep moving forward.

Depending on the size of the problem it could be significant enough to make most people want to give up on the task at hand or the goal they were working towards.  They give way too much attention to the problem and not enough on coming up with a solution.

A leader will recognize the problem and give it enough attention to understand the situation at hand.  However, they will dedicate most of their attention and energy on the solution.

Leaders stay focused and dedicate themselves to finding and creating solutions to the problems they are faced with.

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To Dream or not to Dream

Posted on January 27, 2012 by willieryder

A few months ago I was having a conversation with my daughter about the different colleges she is interested in attending.  She is currently in her senior year of high school and was getting ready to start applying for early acceptance.

During the conversation she let me know she had narrowed the list of schools she planned on applying to down to four.  She told me the schools, let me know her order of preference, and also stated it was very critical that she get accepted into her first or second choices.

Being a little confused by that I asked her “If you are applying to four different schools why is it so important you get accepted into your first or second choice?”

She replied “Because these two schools are the only ones I am applying to that have the courses I want to major in.  The other two schools are just my fallback schools.”

“They are your fallback schools?  What are you going to do if you don’t get accepted to one of the two that you really want and have to attend one of the other two schools?”

“That would be terrible!  Then I would have to change what I major in and I would not be happy” she said.

“Would not getting into one of these two schools be the worst thing that could happen and would you have to change your major” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t you have any other options?”

“No!  I would have to change my major” she said.

“If you don’t get into one of the schools that has your major couldn’t you go to one of the others for the first year or two and focus on core courses?  Then you can reapply to the other schools and hopefully transfer before you start working on your major.”

“No!” She said adamantly like it was a stupid idea.

Not to be detoured by her short responses and increasing frustration I continued and asked “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to go to multiple schools.  I want to go to one that has my major and stay there until I graduate.  Is that too much to ask?”

With each question and response I could tell she was getting more and more frustrated.  However, I felt I had to push on.

“I can understand that, however things don’t always work out the way you want them to and you need to consider all your options and be flexible.”

“Can we please just quit talking about this for now?” she asked.

“In a minute.  Is there a reason you can’t be flexible?  Why is it so important that everything goes just the way you have it planned out?”

At that point she could no longer handle my questions and with a very passionate and loud response said “Because it is what I want to do!  Aren’t you doing what you want to do!   When you were my age didn’t you want to do what you are doing today?”

Her response was more of statements than questions, however I felt obligated to treat them as questions and respond as such.

After a short pause when the room had quieted I told her the truth.

“No, I am not.  Yes when I was your age I had plans for what I wanted to do and the person I wanted to become.  But sometimes things happen and not everything always works out exactly how you imagine them.  When they don’t you have to be flexible and adjust.”

Here we were having a conversation where my daughter was sharing her dreams with me and I was trying to be a good parent by making sure she kept things in perspective.  At the time it felt like good advice.  However now I have to ask myself was I being a little overly critical.  In my attempt to help did I mistakenly come across like I didn’t value her dreams or recognize the importance of having dreams and being willing to follow them.

When we’re young it seems like it’s easier to dream.  We’re so full of imagination and creativity with our whole lives ahead of us.

Some of us probably dreamed about being that professional athlete.  Playing basketball out back imagining being in a game where our team was down by 1 point with seconds on the clock with the ball in our hands.  We start counting 3, 2, 1 as we shoot the ball and as it goes through the hoop we start screaming “AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!”

Maybe we dreamed about being up on stage and performing as a musician in front of a sold out crowd.

Or what about having a job where we could help others by becoming a teacher, fireman, police officer, or doctor.

When you are young there are so many things to dream about.

As we get older though things start to change including what we dream of doing and our ability to dream.  Some of the changes are based on different experiences we have had and some are due to our own interests changing over time.

Going into college some people know what they want to study and some do not.  Some start out with a major and later decide to change it.  Others go to one school and later transfer.

When we go out into the working populace there are times we take a job that is aligned with our dreams and there are times we just take the job that is available until the right one comes around.

Sadly there are also those of us that don’t really know what we want to do.  We may spend our whole lives searching for our purpose and never find it.

After I told my daughter that I was not doing what I had dreamed of doing when I was her age I decided it was time to take our conversation in another direction.  I explained to her that if we randomly picked out 10 people and asked them what they planned to do with their career over the next 3 to 5 years the majority of them would probably not know.  Of the few that did have an idea most were probably not currently working on goals that would help them achieve what they hoped.

This caught her by surprise.  Being very driven and structured not having goals or working towards them was a foreign concept for her.  She had no idea how different she is from the average person.

I can understand her confusion.  My whole life I have been a dreamer and for the past 20 plus years I have been a very goal focused individual.  However, there was a time in my life where all my dreams where just that.  Dreams with not enough focus and effort on my part to make them a reality.  Luckily at some point I realized in order for our dreams to become reality we have to be willing to stay focused on them and put forth the hard work and effort it takes.  Even then things do not always happen the way we dreamed them.  Sometimes we come up a little short of what we hoped and sometimes we go well beyond of what we dreamed possible.

From our conversation and the understanding that failing to accomplish your dreams could cause you pain and disappointment I had to ask myself, is it better to have dreams and not fully accomplish them or to not have a dream at all?

To me the answer is simple.  You have to dream!  Regardless of age or where you are in life it’s important to be able to dream.  Our dreams are our hope and vision of a better tomorrow.  We must dream and work hard towards making them a reality.  Things won’t always workout the way we dreamed them.  Sometimes we will come up a little short and sometimes we will go well beyond.  Either way we will always be better off for having dreams and dedicating ourselves to fulfilling them.

“Dream big and live a fulfilled life while being a positive influence for others to remember.”

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Leadership Shorts – Leadership and Trust

Posted on January 5, 2012 by willieryder

Leadership means being able to influence others to work towards a common set of goals.  In order for you to be able to influence someone and inspire them to follow you they have to first trust you.

Trust is not something that comes easy though.  For someone to trust you they have to feel like they know you, what you stand for, and be able to believe in you.  That could take some time and lots of observation.

People will have an idea of who you are by what you communicate to them and how.  However, they will really get to know who you are and what you stand for by the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the behaviors you display. 

To be an effective leader and gain the trust of others you must make sure your actions are consistent with what you communicate.

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Youth Basketball – Competing In Order To Improve

Posted on December 1, 2011 by willieryder

WOW!!!  What a great game.  Both teams were pretty evenly matched, it was fast paced, and competitive.  It was hard to believe the kids were only 8 to 10 years old.  Some of them had obviously been playing basketball since a very early age.

The two that stood out the most were Javan and Jalen.  They were both very good ball handlers, had the ability to score a lot of points, solid defenders, and very fast.  It was a good thing they were on opposite teams or the game would not be so close.

Each time Javan and Jalen were on the court the coaches made sure they matched up with each other.  What a sight to see, two of the best kids in the league competing against each other.  For the first half of the game they really pushed each other, both on the offensive and defensive ends of the court.

At half time the referee blew the whistle and signaled for player rotation.  As Javan was coming off of the court he slowly walked up to his coach with his shoulders slumped, head down low, and said “Coach when I go back in can I match up with someone else?”

“Why, is something wrong?”

Slowly shaking his head Javan said “He’s just too hard for me to guard.”

This caught the coach by surprise.  He would never have imagined those words coming from Javan.  Throughout the season he had always been matched up with the best players on every team they played against and always did so with a lot of confidence.

The difference was Jalen.  Javan had been better than every other kid he had played against so far this season.  However, Jalen appeared to be his equal.  He would have to give a 100% against him for the full game and that still may not be enough.  After the first half he knew that and it worried him enough to where he lost his confidence.  Instead of taking on that challenge he wanted to avoid it.

The coach knelt down so he could look Javan in the eye, put his hand on his shoulder, and said “I will consider your request.  But before I decide I want you to think about something for me.  Jalen is a really good ball player.  He is the best player on their team.  However, you are also a very good ball player.  You’re the best player on our team.  If you want to continue to grow and improve you are going to have to play against other players who are just as good as you are and sometimes even better.  I want you to think about that while you rest and when the break is over I will ask you if you really want to match up with a different player.”

When the referee blew the whistle for the next player rotation the coach turned toward the bench and waited for Javan to approach.  Javan slowly walked up to him, his shoulders still slumped, and his head down.

“Javan, have you thought about what I said?”

“Yes coach.”

“What have you decided then?  Do you want to continue matching up with Jalen or should I have you match up with a different player?”

Without lifting his head or appearing very confident Javan said “I will stay with Jalen.”

“Are you sure” said the coach.

“Yes.”

“Good, now get out there and play just as hard as you always do.”

The coach was happy that Javan chose to continue matching up with Jalen.  He felt he had made the right choice.  However, at the time he did not know if Javan believed it was the right choice or if he was just doing what he felt the coach wanted.  Luckily he would eventually find out.

The spring league ended a few weeks after this game and the summer league started up soon after.  On the day of player assessments when they were forming the teams the coach noticed Javan had returned and requested he be put on his team.  He enjoyed working with him and wanted to continue to help him grow and develop as a player and a person.

The first couple of games that season everything was going well.  The games were competitive, every kid gave their best, they consistently improved, and everyone was having fun.

Then one Saturday they had to play against a team they were not familiar with.  The majority of the players were new to the league so the initial match ups were not the greatest.  There was a player named Sam on the other team that was an amazing basketball player.  He was very quiet and humble but had a tremendous amount of basketball skills.  Every time he was on the court he dominated whoever chose to match up with him.

After a few player rotations the coach had seen Sam play enough to recognize just how good he was.  He knew if they didn’t do something soon the game would be a blow out.

During the next player rotation he got all of his players together.  He told them “We have a problem.  Sam is scoring way to easy on us.  If we want to have any hope of winning or just keeping the game close we need to find a way to slow him down.  Does anyone have any ideas?”

A young motivated player named Kyle immediately stepped up, raised his hand, and said “Coach, I can stop Sam from scoring.  I will guard him.”

The coach was impressed with Kyle’s courage but was a little worried he may not be a good match for Sam.  He was about to ask Kyle if he was sure, however before he could say a word Javan stepped up, patted Kyle on the chest, and with his head held high and his shoulders back said “No Kyle, he is too fast for you.  I will guard Sam.”

The coach did not have to ask Javan if he was sure.  He saw the confidence in his body language, his voice, and in his eyes.  Javan knew his role on the team and was completely confident in filling it.

The coach could not be prouder of Javan.  At that moment he knew Javan had taken to heart what he had told him the previous season.

Throughout our lives we are faced with many different challenges.  Some of them will be manageable, some will push us to our limits, and some will overwhelm us.  In order for us to grow and improve we must being willing to step out of our comfort zone and take on the challenges presented even when they scare us.  In basketball this means competing against players that are as good as you are or even better.

With the confidence, determination, and competitiveness that Javan showed that day the coach knew that he would continue to improve and be successful at anything he did.

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