This past weekend I ran my first half marathon.  I had worked hard to prepare the past few months and felt both physically and mentally ready to run the 13.1 miles.  There were some things I was not prepared for though.  It had been at least 6 years since I had even ran a 5K and was not used to participating in such a huge organized event or running around so many people.

There were over 4200 people running in the half marathon and each of us were doing our best to run at our own pace.  Being such a long distance it was very common to pass other runners and to be passed on many occasions.

I started in line next to the flag that marked the group that planned to run the race in around 2 hours.  Each time I passed a marker and digital clock I checked my progress and tried to make sure I was on pace to finish around that time.  My efforts paid off and I finished at 1:54:56.

I am very happy with my time and feel proud of how I performed during the race.  However, there were a few short moments were I was at risk of not feeling good about myself.  There was one instance in particular where I was disappointed in myself because I don’t think I was staying true to who I am.

It happened sometime after I had passed the 9 mile marker.  Throughout the race I had run past many other runners and had been passed by a lot of runners myself.  I didn’t think much about it until I was passing this lady who I had seen a few times over the course of the race.  Each time I had seen her she was a little bit ahead of me.  However, instead of running she was now walking.  Her pace was fast but not enough to keep me and a lot of other people from passing her.

As I ran past her I didn’t say anything.  I just looked over to make sure she seemed ok as I ran past.  She was walking with her head up, had a good walking pace, and didn’t appear to be struggling like I would expect if she was hurt or injured.  I took this to mean she was fine and continued running.

Almost immediately after passing her I started feeling guilty for not saying something.  I felt like I should have encouraged her to start running again.  I could have said things like “Don’t stop now,” “We’re almost done,” “Less than 30 minutes to go,” “You can do it,” or numerous other encouraging comments.  But I didn’t and it bothered me.

At first I was not sure why it bothered me so much.  I didn’t know who she was, I had never seen her before the race, and I had yet to speak a single word to her.  I reflected on it for a few minutes and soon realized the issue.  The problem was with me and the fact that I watched someone who appeared to be capable of running the whole race do less than their potential and was not willing to do something about it.  I now felt terrible about not saying something.

This lady was a perfect stranger to me so you may be wondering why something like this would have such an effect on me.  The answer is pretty simple.  Because I am used to lifting others up.  It is what I do in many of the roles I have both professionally and personally.  As a Manager and Leader at work, Husband and Father at home, Coach for youth basketball players, Motivational speaker in Toastmasters, Mentor, and Friend.  In almost every area of my life I do everything I can to lift others up and push them to do their best.  However, here I was focused so much on pushing myself to do my best during the run that I overlooked an opportunity to help someone who needed it.  I was not being true to who I am and regardless of how well I was doing running I was not proud of myself at that moment.

Luckily a few minutes later the lady started running again and soon caught up with me.  When I saw her next to me getting ready to pass by I just had to say something.  I looked over and said “Good job, way to get back in there.”  She just smiled and ran right past me.

I was happy to see her running again.  Unfortunately it would not last though.  Over the next 2 miles she would go back and forth between walking and running.  This caused us to pass each other at least 2 or 3 more times.  However, now each time I passed her or she passed me I would say something to her.  As I passed her I would try to encourage her to start running again and when she passed me I would tell her “Good job” and “Keep it up”.

The last time I saw her was probably around the 12 mile marker.  As she passed me that last time I told her “You’re going to beat me, I can feel it.  Just keep running.”  Throughout the race I had a solid strong pace and was actually speeding up.  My last 3 miles were faster than my first 3 miles.  However, for her to fall behind like she did and then catch back up and pass me she had to be running faster than me and I knew it.  I hoped by telling her that would encourage her to finish strong.  Since I never caught back up to her I have to assume she did just that.

Even though she was a complete stranger it felt good to offer her the encouragement to continue and finish the race.  Looking back on the situation I honestly believe by helping her I was also helping myself as well.  My actions even though brief and small aligned to my values and who I am.  This made me feel good and actually helped to boost my own energy so I could also finish strong.

There are times in our lives where we are outside of our comfort zones and may be struggling to some degree.  However, regardless of the situation we must do our best to make sure the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the behaviors we display are consistent with our beliefs and values.

The only way for us to be truly happy with ourselves is by staying true to who we are.