A friend of mine is a 3rd grade teacher at a nearby elementary school.

One day we were having a conversation about a young boy I had recently started mentoring.  He knew him well because he was in his class a couple of years before.

I mentioned that I was told the boy struggled with reading and math.  However, after spending a little bit of time with him I felt his reading and math skills were actually better than I would have expected.  At least when he focused on what he was doing.

He seemed to get distracted very easily, constantly moving around and touching things, paying too much attention to what was going on around him, and not wanting to do his school work. He also seemed to like getting attention and when he was not getting enough he would do something he shouldn’t just to get attention.

I asked my friend, “Is he hyperactive?”

“I think so, but I am not positive.  Each year the teachers talk to his mom about possibly getting him tested and she always refuses.”

“Why,” I asked.

“Because she is afraid if he is diagnosed as hyperactive he will be labeled.”

I was stunned!  Here is a young boy who is struggling at school and needed help.  However, he was possibly not going to get it because his mom was worried that he would be labeled.

When I heard this it about broke my heart.  You see the more I got to know him the more I saw similarities to myself when I was a young boy.  I had a lot of the same struggles when I was his age and in order to overcome them I needed help.

This got me thinking.  Had I been labeled and did it have an impact on the person I am today?

Looking back through my life I do believe I have been labeled on many occasions.

Around the first or second grade I struggled in school and appeared to have an overwhelming amount of energy.  I would end up being diagnosed and labeled as hyperactive and put on medication.  I had to take medicine in the morning before leaving the house, half way through the school day, and then a different type of medicine at night before going to bed.  All of this to slow me down and try to help me focus.

In the third grade I struggled so much that they considered moving me to a “special needs class.”  In fourth grade I had to have a fifth grader come in to my class and tutor me to help me learn to read better.

My struggles would follow me throughout all my years in school and I would have many labels.

In high school my grades would go from being ok at the beginning of the 9th grade to terrible by graduation.  My attendance would go from hardly missing school to almost not graduating if I missed another day or two.  Let’s just say I was very lucky to graduate when I did.

For my performance or lack of I was labeled on numerous occasions.  Just to share some of the most memorable ones through high school.  As a senior I was voted most likely to fall asleep in class by my peers.  Then upon graduation with my diploma I also received a transcript that stated I was number 222 out of 223 students who graduated that year.  That basically meant NO FUTURE.

Luckily soon after graduation I realized just how bad my future looked.  It bothered me enough that I decided to do something about it and was committed to turning my life around.  Not willing to let my past decide my future I started by giving myself new labels.  I was determined to work hard, have a great attitude, and always do my best at everything I did.

This change helped me to go on and be successful through two part-time jobs, 10 years in the Marine Corps, and almost 11 years and counting at Microsoft.  Throughout all of this I would still be labeled by others on numerous occasions.

While in the Marine Corps I was recognized as the Marine and Non Commissioned Officer of the month and quarter on several occasions, received the Navy/Marine Corps Achievement Medal, and a month before I got out I was awarded the Pioneer Award by the Defense Information Systems Agency (DISA), the first Marine to receive this award in my job field.

At Microsoft I have received a Great People Great Performance Award, a few Gold Star Awards, and prior to moving into a management role I was recognized as a Microsoft Certified Architect.  At the time there were only around 75 in the world.  I have also been selected to participate in a High Potential Leadership program for 4 out of the 8 years of the programs existence.  The program is made up of the top 2 to 4 percent of the employees in the company.

Throughout my life I have had many labels; some were good, some were bad, and many of them have had an impact on the person I am today, but only because I have allowed them to.

A lot of the labels were put on me by others because of how I presented myself, the struggles I had, and the accomplishments I made.  However, some of the labels were also self-inflicted and to me those have been the most important ones.  The labels I chose as a hard worker, having a great attitude, and always doing my best at everything I did.  Even more critical the labels I chose as a friend, coach, mentor, husband, and father.

What I ask of each person that reads this is to take a few minutes whether it is right now, later today, or sometime next week when you have time to reflect and ask yourself; “What labels have you been living with? Are they helping you to be your very best or are they holding you back from being the person you were meant to be?”

Take a hard look at the ones that do not represent the true you inside or the person you want to be; then throw them out and start creating new ones that you can be proud of and that will help you work towards your full potential.  It’s never too late to become the person you were meant to be.

Each and every one of us has the ability to guide our own future successes and failures.  By the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the behaviors we display.

Others will try to label us.  The best thing for us to do is to recognize who we are, who we want to be, and work as hard as we possibly can to be the best versions of ourselves regardless of the labels we are given by others.