I believe I am a creature of habit.  My likes and dislikes, hobbies, and people I spend my time with are pretty predictable if you know me.  I usually go to the same restaurants, eat the same foods, read a certain type of books written by the same authors, listen to the same radio station, watch only a handful of tv shows, and shop at the same stores.

I am so predictable even the thoughts I have and the words I say at times will be the same one day to the next.  Especially when talking to the ones I care about the most.  With my wife and kids I have formed a kind of pattern that repeats itself each and every day.  There are usually 4 different statements or questions they can count on hearing from me almost every day.

In the morning I ask them what they have going on for the day, I tell them I love them and hope they have a great day, in the afternoon/evening I ask them how their day has been and what did they do or learn, and each night before I go to bed I go to each of their rooms, tell them I love them, and hope they have sweet dreams.

These statements and questions may seem pretty basic to most people and appear to be small gestures.  However, to me I think they are extremely important and do my best to not let a day go by that I don’t voice them.

Asking my wife and kids what they have planned for the day lets them know that I value what they have going on in their lives outside of our time together.  It also opens up the opportunity to ask them if they have properly prepared for the day.  If my kids have a test then I ask them if they are ready and if they have they studied enough.  The same if they have a project or big assignment due.  From their response I try to gauge if they are confident or nervous and will do my best to encourage them and wish them good luck.

If my kids have school then I usually take my daughters and drop them off.  As their getting out of the car I tell them that I love them and hope they have a great day.  Sometimes I will even repeat it.  I guess that is my way of trying to increase the chance that they will have a great day and my hope that no matter what happens throughout the day they will remember that I love them.

My wife usually brings my son to school so the last thing I do before I leave the house is to give him and my wife a kiss and let them both know I love them and hope they have a great day as well.  Again sometimes I will repeat myself, especially if they are upstairs when I leave.  I will go up to say goodbye in person and then as I am about to walk out the door I will scream up and tell them again that I love them and hope they have a great day.

If my kids don’t have school and I have to go to work then I will go by each of their rooms and wake them up to give them a kiss goodbye, let them know I love them, and hope they have a great day.  I feel guilty waking them up just to say goodbye but I cannot leave the house without doing so.  They mean the world to me and I want them to know that.

The first time I talk to each of them after work I will ask them how their day has gone so far.  For my kids I will sometimes ask them what they have learned or how a particular event went if it is a school day.  If they did not have school and spent the day at home or with a friend I will ask them what they did and if they had fun.  For my wife I will ask her how work went or any other activity she is involved in.  For them it probably feels like a lot of questions, but I think it is important because I care about them and want them to know that I am interested in what they are up to and how they are doing.  It also helps me to try and identify if one of them is having a bad day or struggling with something.  That way I can ask the appropriate questions to find out what may be bothering them and try to make their day better.

Each night it is next to impossible for me to go to sleep without tucking my children in.  Even on the nights they come by my room to say goodnight to me.  I still have to get up and go by each of their rooms to give them a kiss, tell them I love them, and wish them sweet dreams, even if they are already asleep.  Sometimes I will wake them up, but that is ok because me telling them these things is important to me and hopefully to them.

If they are staying over at a friend’s house or out of town for a school trip or visiting relatives I ask that they always call before going to bed so I can tell them that I love them and to have sweet dreams.  If not then I worry about them.

I try to communicate with wife and kids as much as possible and I am sure there are times I go overboard or may not communicate enough.  It is definitely something that takes effort.  But I think regular communication is very important especially if you want to have a good relationship with the people in your life that you care about the most.

There are plenty of things we talk about that I have not mentioned here, so much that I could not possibly list them all.  These four statements and questions are just the ones that I do my best to communicate no matter what happens each day.  The two most critical ones for me though are in the morning when I tell them I love them and to have a good day and right before bed when I tell them I love them and to have sweet dreams.  There is not a day that goes by where I don’t do these two.  They are almost always the first and last words I say to them each and every day.

You may ask what about the days where they have done or said something wrong and have upset me.  On those days we have some very tough conversations.  However, regardless of how tough they are or how upset they might make me I still follow through on this, especially my first and last words to them.  Because no matter what I love them with all of my heart and I always want them to know that and that I will always wish them the best.

If you have someone in your life that you care for deeply make sure you let them know and communicate with them as much as possible.  Identify the things you want them to know and make your first and last words to them ones they will always remember and hopefully cherish.